Practicing Relaxation

Since last spring I’ve been exploring a movement system called somatics developed by Thomas Hanna. I cannot do it justice in one sentence, but the basic premise has to do with helping re-learn conscious control of muscles to help reduce involuntary contraction and pain. Since I’ve been practicing these movements each morning, I have definitely felt less chronic back pain than I used to, and my body feels more fluid and available to the day.

But the real reason I bring up somatics is this: the real “work” of each movement isn’t the exercise part where you contract muscles to lift a leg or shoulder, it’s the intentional, full relaxation of those muscles after using them. It’s helping your body re-learn to let go.

Relaxation isn’t something that comes very naturally to me. I tend to want to feel good about myself based on some accomplishment. Twenty years ago (!), that was academics. Now, as a stay at home mom, it’s more about what I “get done” each day, a sense of measurable productivity.

What’s really sinking in for me lately, though, is that basing my self-worth on what I get accomplished each day is just a set-up for stress and burn-out. If I only feel good about myself when I’m getting things done – whether it’s dishes, laundry, groceries, cooking (we all have own our version of this list) – then what about when I’m struggling with health issues related to my cystic fibrosis? There are times when I really can’t keep up with it all. Intellectually, I know it is okay to take time for healing & regenerating, but I can attest that self-worth based on productivity seriously plummets after a few weeks or months of not feeling well.

And I’m realizing there’s a deeper consequence to this “get it done” mode. It feels like when I’m stuck in this cycle of over-doing it, wearing myself out, needing to recuperate, feeling guilty about stuff piling up, pushing too hard again, and so on, that I’m never really taking the time to connect to my life. To bond with life. To feel what is exciting for me, or fun, or helps me slow down and feel the bigger picture of what really does matter to me, of what I want to bring here.

In a way, having cystic fibrosis is a gift, because it is helping me hone this perception of how I run my energy: am I on the hamster wheel getting things done, or am I participating in my life? Because I honestly don’t have the energy to get it all done and then do something I enjoy.

Which brings me back to the concept from somatics, of practicing relaxation. As I am recovering from a pretty serious set-back to my lungs ("Fear & Healing"), I am practicing relaxation in a new way. I am exploring how I can best use my energy to participate in my life in a way that helps me feel alive and connected to what is here.

Sure, I still need to do laundry now and then. Just now for instance, there is a month’s worth of bills and mail and paperwork that needs sorted, sitting in a basket at my feet. But I decided to take some time first, to write this blog entry. To reach beyond my small world of household tasks, and connect with a deeper sense of growth and evolution, and fun! – not just for myself, but for the human race. And I’m glad I did.

I’d love to hear what you’ve done today that wasn’t just about getting things done, but about bonding with your life. Maybe we can inspire each other to let Happiness have some fun here while we get things done, not putting off living any longer.